Dorkamorphs: The TV Series!
by Birdie num num
Summary: Ah yes. If you've seen the Nickelodeon show and hated it with a burning passion, then you'll love this...
1. It begins!

Note, this fanfic is probably going to be even more ridiculous and random than my Uber Scary Diary of Visser Three, and that's just frightening.

Well, please enjoy. I nearly died from lack of oxygen laughing at this sheer and absolute stupidity.

Cheesy crap song playing "Nowhere to run nowhere to hide...blah blah blah blah nyah nyah nyah nyah.

Animorphs running randomly everywhere. Running into walls, that is. Because I say so.

Showing crap picture of a crap Yeerk going into a crap ear.

more crap pictures. Whole totally crap intro so not worth writing about...

Scene starts at Rachel's bedroom.

"Gee williker gee golly whiz. Here am I, Rachel sitting on my bed looking Nickelodeon pretty!"

A bird in the window flies into view, totally fake plastic like you'd buy at Wal Mart, with the wires supporting it showing it. It flies into the window, smacks into it really hard.

Rachel turns around. "My goodness gracious me, let's do it, what was that?"

Rachel hums ladida as she goes to the window, opens it and looks around.

"Well. Gosh. I don't know. I just don't know."

Muffled. "Oh! Tobias! Come in!"

She pulls her head back into the room through the window and giggles happily bouncing on her head, I mean, bed, as Tobias totally crap special effects demorphs on her bed.

"Why, hello Tobias."

"Hi Rachel."

"Hey! You're brownheaded!"

"Yep, I sure am Rachel."

"But the books say you have blonde hair."

"Shhh! Shut up! You're not supposed to say that!" More loudly. "Yeah, but I'm cute."

"Yes that's true." She giggled, snorting, because she is a big dork. Because the show is totally dorks ville. More like dorkamorphs than Animorphs. A show of totally slaughtered, butchered, mutilated book characters that were once the most awesome characters in children's and young adults fiction literature and still are if you actually read the books series instead of watching the crap t.v. series show.

"Oh gosh, hey, you're not supposed to have your powers back!" Rachel whispers.

"Shut up!" the Tobias actor hisses. He turns back into a bird very quickly with crap special effects again as the director sitting behind the camera says "Oh yeah."

"Tobias. I sure do wish you had your powers back."

A voice, coming seemingly out of nowhere, says.

"Yeah, well I would have you freaking psycho if you had kept your mouth shut and just said the stupid lines- I mean, gosh, me too Rachel!"

She sits down and dramatically looks at the camera. "Kids. Don't do drugs." Then switches back to Tobias, looking concerned. "Oh Tobias Tobias Botias."

The bird flies around on the bed crapping and screeching because the crap trainer made a stupid crap mistake, while the Botias voice continues "Umm, yeah. You just called me Botias."

The Rachel actress makes a face and wrinkles her nose and says "No I didn't. Did I?" while the director groans, smacks his hand to his forehead and says "Please kids, just say the lines!"

"My character's name is Tobias!" the Botias voice sounds very annoyed and irritated now. The bird flies at Rachel, still crapping and screeching and upset and she squeals "Eeeh!" waving and flapping her arms about hysterically and defensively and feathers are everywhere as the screen goes black and changes to reveal color bars looking like a bar code as the director tells the cameraman to turn the camera off and yells "Stop it! Stop it! Hold it! Cut! Sweet green beans I can't take anymore!"

We can still hear the Botias actor yelling "I quit! That's it! That's it! I so totally quit right here, right now!" despite the fact that filming the episode for today has been canceled.


	2. At the mall

More filming ensues!

This scene takes place at the mall, cheesy animorph music fades as we go into the scene. Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooo...

Jake sits down at a table in a food court, where Cassie, Marco, Rachel, and Ax are sitting.

"Hey guys." looking all Fearless Leadery, or trying to anyway. "Oh my gosh dudes, this mission is like so totally important. We'll like, die and all if we don't get this right!" keeps looking at the camera nervously and checking his hair with one hand.

"Yeah." Cassie says, nodding understandingly a little too much. "Yeah."

Rachel tosses her head and snorts happily. "Violence." she says, nodding. "Yeah. Violence. Violence is great."

Marco keeps looking around wide eyed. "Oh my gosh. There are people EVERYWHERE."

Rachel looks around a little too. "Yeah." she giggles. "We're like, in the mall."

"Dude, just shut up and say the lines okay?" Jake whispers ferociously. Rachel holds up her hands and nods and says. "Yeah, yeah, okay, sorry."

Cassie says. "Yeah. Yeah.", nodding still.

Suddenly Cassie turns to Marco dramatically who is now looking quite pensive, yes, quite pensive indeed, and the camera focuses in on them alone.

"Marco, how you do... feeeeel...about your mother?"

Marco's eyes begin to water. Emotional music plays.

"Well, when I was little, dad and I were playing basketball. And it was Thanksgiving. Yes...mom and grandma, they were there..." he sniffs and wipes his eyes. "Yes I remember it all like it was all yesterday."

Cassie pats his shoulder and nods and smiles, once again, sigh, understandingly, saying "Yeah. Yeah. I really feel that. I understand Marco."

Marco leaps to his feet dramatically. "No!" he screams. "No! You don't understand! None of you understand! None of you understand what it means to be me!"

All of the Animorphs stare wide eyed at him, except for Jake who is staring wide eyed at the screen. He turns his head quickly to Marco, after the others do that is, after directions from the director who is right behind the camera.

"Marco, silence!" He sticks out his hand, and like Moses calming the sea, Marco sits down and takes a few shuddery breaths and sniffs back his tears with a determined look on his face.

"Guys! We've got to fight!" Jake says.

"Yeah Jake!" Rachel says, snorting happily. "Oh my gosh! It's time for that line again! What was it? Oh yes! Let's do it!"


End file.
